I said no, but he didn't stop..

Last year I was travelling alone overseas. Early in my trip a male Airbnb host made some unexpected physical advances toward me.

He kept saying "just a kiss, give me a kiss" and pushing himself against me.

So there I am in a foreign country, alone in his home.

Its the makings of a terrible story... And yet that wasn't my reality nor the moral of this story.

The old me would have struggled to hold her ground in this situation.

She would have fawned, frozen and maybe even said nothing.

Instead I simply said "no".

He tried again. I said no again. He persisted.

I repeated myself again calmly atleast five times.

Eventually he stopped and let me walk past him and leave the room.

Initially I was quite shaken, but I was also ok. I trusted my body could manage the shock and resource itself.

The next day as I was checking out, he apologised to me.. twice.

I really hope he learnt something.

I share this story with you because this is what years of embodied boundary practice actually looks like when applied in the real world.

Sure it can be easy for us all to say no whilst in a workshop space, where agreements are made and consent is the language everyone speaks. But what about when we are alone, in an unfamiliar place, with a man who's values and beliefs are vastly different?

That is the real test.

I believe I was able to hold my ground firmly, because for years I've practiced holding it, feeling it and embodying it.

Honestly I have failed many times in small ways, but every bit of practice has helped. And that meant that on this occasion under real duress it was like flexing a muscle for me - natural and instinctual.

I see and work with so many women who do not feel comfortable to stand up to someone with power (a man or our boss) when the situation is seemingly stacked against us.

Collapsing of our own boundaries is more common than we may like to admit.

And that's a big reason why I'm so passionate about teaching embodied consent.

Because for most of us, as children, our boundaries, our need to feel safe and our firm no were rarely honoured or respected.

Because as women, we probably learnt to prioritise a mans needs over our own.. so we would stay safe.

Physically we are the weaker sex, therefore survival is always our highest instinctual priority.

And, its certainly not lady-like to stand up for ourselves.

So we don't.

We shove it down

Swallow it, placate others or take it for convenience.

This plays out not just in erotically charged moments - it happens in ALL areas of our lives: work, home, business, parenting, health.

But here's the thing: I wasn't born like this.

Yes I'm an experienced Intimacy Facilitator and I have spent decades doing work on myself and guiding women..

But that's because I have cultivated and practiced these skills allot.

And you can too.

This is exactly the kind of body led work that I feel the world needs us to explore as women.

And its a key theme we journey with inside Holy Whore; our somatic yes, embodied no and everything in between.

So when that real world moment comes, the body and the voice can work together without fear or contraction. And we can still feel safe.

Look, in a perfect world no woman should ever have to say no more than once.

But until that world exists, I want every woman to know that her voice and her body matter.

Ladies, Holy Whore is here.

And she will change you, deeply.

13 weeks.

An advanced offering for all women

Starting September 10.

If this post awakened something in you I have a FREE Masterclass exploring the Holy Whore concepts next Thursday 20th.

Learn more or register your place here.

Come along and learn more.

Yours in devotion,

Bree xxx