Why SLOWNESS is essential in love, dating and modern relationships

Over the past few months while unwell, I was found myself doing something I rarely do; watching Netflix. What I saw in the way relationships are portrayed there honestly shocked me.

As someone who understands the value of Secure attachment and healthy relating, it was rare to see any of these traits reflected in modern dramas or rom-coms.

One of the biggest red flags I noticed again and again was SPEED.

• Relationships moving insanely fast.

• From first date immediately to sex >> To living in each other’s pockets every night..

• Or the intense heat of pursuit, patterns of avoidance, manipulation or fantasy filled dynamics.

What is called love in these romanticized depictions is actually insecure attachment, poor communication and relational trauma.

THE TRUTH

What is less known about health union between men and a women, is: Loving someone is NOT enough to sustain a healthy, thriving relationship. Especially one that is steeped in polarity.

Yet this is the story we are sold, time and time again is that "true love will conquer all."

These depictions of love are so deeply distorted that it not only breaks my heart, it also saddens me.

And please, don't think that I'm skeptical … truth be told I'm an utter romantic at heart!

But what I want you to hear today is my interpretations of what LOVE IS has changed as I have matured AND as my nervous system became more stable.

Real LOVE doesn't rush

It happens slowly.

Steadily.

Like a gentle drizzle of rain that soaks into the earth, without any kind of force.

It develops, deepens and matures with and over time

Becoming enmeshed too quickly is one of the most common mistakes I see most people still making in relationships, even today. Yet we need to begin to grasp that this is driven by chemistry, lust hormones and fantasy, all of which happens before two people have truly assessed their longer term compatibility.

Commitment and enduring union take time to build (especially for men). This means that going slower is almost always the SECRET path to cultivating lasting love...

WHAT SLOWNESS actually looks like:

• Delaying sex in the early dating window

  • instead allow clarity to form without the distraction of lust

• Dating with the intention of Union / partnership

  • being more discerning about who is a match for you, while also being open that your ideal partner may come in a package you didn’t expect

• Talking about values, lifestyle, visions and compatibilities early on

  • again, before you have sex and get fluid bonded)

• Deepening physical intimacy with intention

  • when long-term compatibility is aligned and exclusivity is desired by both parties

• Staying true to yourself

  • maintain your routines, friendships and sovereignty

• Not rushing into co-habitation or shared business ventures during the Honeymoon phase

  • this means waiting 18–24 months for masks to fall away, shadows to appear and the real relationship to begin to emerge

• Keeping the relationship contained while it’s still forming

  • holding some level of privacy and protection from the outside world ... until you are both sure.

IN SUMMARY

Slowness in relationship is rarely portrayed as sexy…Instead, we’ve been sold the lie that hot and heavy is what attraction looks like, and that its the only way love blooms. But that, my friends, is simply lust, attraction and the pathway that tends to lead to co-dependency and enmeshment.

So here’s the irony:

Slowness is what is missing for most people. And when your nervous system starts to learn what it feel like to be Secure, that old way of being (the one that was built on fast-paced connection) will start to feel deeply unattractive.

And suddenly, that slow gentle drizzle of rain falling softly is all you want. A love that stays the test of time.

A love that is truly built to endure

This is the path that I live and the guidance I offer to feminine leaning women.

A path where devotional union with men is in our highest good, and where following the pull of our pleasure, eros and nervous system is all we need to trust.

This is the path of the Devotional Woman.

Let’s walk it together.

Yours in devotion to Love, Eros and Union

Bree xxx

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About the author

Bree Taylor Molyneaux | Erotic Liberator & Devotional Union Guide

For 25 years Bree has been immersed in the fields of psychosomatics, trauma, mindset and adult relationships. Passionate about helping women repair their relationships to masculine men, she guides you to explore where erotic liberation, devotion and sacred union all merge.

A trauma informed Clinical Hypnotherapist and qualified Embodiment facilitator Bree has studied with many world class relationship specialists including Michaela Boehm and John Wineland. An experienced facilitator with a reputation for her grounded seamless facilitation and potent ritual spaces, Bree is an emerging leader in the field of Embodied Intimacy in Australia.